Lunch Buffet @ Holiday Inn

Regular readers will know that we at LiS have a policy of not spending more than $10 per meal. This is a policy we waive under two specific circumstances 1) when someone else is paying, and 2) when we feel like it.

This week we found that both of those conditions were fulfilled by a corporate benefactor. With a list price of $36 per head, this was not an opportunity to be passed up. To Vikatoria's at the Holiday Inn we go:

The first thing we did was get stuck into the nigiri, mostly smoked salmon, tuna, and inside out roll. Competently done if not spectacular, but personally I can eat this sort of thing all day and every day.

Every buffet has a salad bar, and this one has all the usual elements. One thing they don't have that they should have is labels for the dressings, for instance I have no idea what that creamy paste on the right is, and that was the case with all of other dressings and vinegarettes offered. I have better things to do at lunch than play dressing lucky dip.

Unfortunately your intrepid reviewer is abstaining from the flesh of mammals and fowl at the moment, so I am unable to say much about these slices of roast pork except to say that they look like sexual napalm for the tastebuds. The main thing to worry about with roast meats is dryness, and this doesn't seem to have that problem at all.

This fish curry was simply rubbish, not at all spicy, dry, and tasteless. We attempted to rescue it by chilli-ing the living fuck out of it, but succeeded only in making it spicy, dry and tasteless. The fish is not fresh either.

Eating your vegetables is a must. These were just a tad overcooked, but I'm glad they've included ota in the steamed vegetables selection.

On the left we have the vegetarian pizza, which is pretty damn good. On the right is the fish pizza which was far too salty. The vegetarian pizza, with its mushrooms, olives, capsicum, cabbage, and excellent base might rival Dorothy's Kitchen as the best pizza the LiS crew has tried yet.

Now I'm sure you can get better cold soba with tempura vegetables at Ginza or Shinjuku station, but I put it to you that you are much less likely to be groped by エロマンガ crazed サラリーマン. Eat your soba at the Holiday Inn and avoid both the expense and the 痴漢.

This kokoda was simply awful. What makes kokoda work is the texture, good kokoda springs back against ones teeth and holds together. Crap kokoda like this one has the texture of cooked fish and offers no resistance to the chewer. I don't think the fish was particularly fresh either.

There are deserts as well. We were too full to sample them but our dining companions partook and we were with our shitty cellphone cameras to capture them. Given that we didn't actually eat any we don't really have much to say much about them.

This is the trifle. I hate trifle.

This is the sponge cake. I hate sponge cake.

There are too many flaws with this buffet to give this a thumbs up, and at $36 per head it is not good value either. On the plus side its a popular place for corporate events and lunches so you have many opportunities to namu ones bosses, suppliers, donors, and business partners.

In Summary

Lunch Buffet @ Holiday Inn

Vikatoria's Restaurant, Holiday Inn, Victoria Pde (http://osm.org/go/vrytAvrvY-)

Opening Hours:

Mon - Friday: 12:00pm - 2:30pm

Spend:

$36 per head

Hot Dog stand outside Ministry of Education

There has been a hot dog stand outside the Ministry of Education on the corner of Gorrie St and Thurston St for most of the past decade. While it is always good to see enterprising young men try and make their way in the world, the LiS crew will only ever judge you on the quality and cost effectiveness of your food, and never on the purity of your heart and honest intentions.
These guys have one item on the menu, at a single price ($4), and that item is the Hot Dog. In years past they used to have a burger which was tasty enough but seemed to give everyone acid reflux, and it is no longer on the menu.
The above is a hot dog, a sausage in a bun with sauce and mustard, with grated cheese. Not the sort of thing one has to study Julia Child to learn how to do. If they have relish you can get relish but they don't seem to have it that often.

There really isn't much to say about it - its a damn hot dog. It is what it is. If I had season tickets at Yankee Stadium I would have the requisite cultural software installed to determine where in the grand spectrum of hot dog quality this sits. Unfortunately I have neither tickets nor the inclination (nor for that matter the stomach lining) to become a hot dog connoisseur.

I am however fully qualified to comment on this meals place in the price performance curve. At $4 this is simply not a good deal. Scrounge around in your coin jar for $1.50 more and you can get a substantial feed at a place like the Handicraft centre. Most people with Pacific Island appetites will need two hot dogs to make a decent lunch - well for the $8 that will cost you can get yourself a bi bim bap at Shabu Shabu, an option that is both healthier, heftier, and tastier.

In Summary

Hot Dog Stand

Outside the Ministry Education, Corner of Gorrie St and Thurston St (http://osm.org/go/vrytA9Pi@-)

Opening Hours:

Mon - Friday: 12:00pm - 2:30pm

Spend:

$4 per hot dog

Rating:

Thumbs-down

And now for some user generated content - Fr in Nasese

Posting this drivel month in month out gets to be a drag. We have to go from filthy greasy spoon to disgusting dive, spending our own money and risking our own stomach linings. So its a relief when someone writes in and gives us content, as our friend Bill did last week. To whit:

If you haven't been to Fr (don't understand the stupid name) in the old "Point After" building down from Suva Grammar on Queen Elizabeth Drive, you're missing out. I don't know why that man (the owner of the former Cakodrove) has the magic recipe for fish & chips, but he does. I recommend the cod ($10), although they might recommend something else when you visit. Apparently they opened a couple weeks ago. I just hope they can overcome the curse on that building and build a good business. Don't think I could handle the emotional hit of having them close again. There's a lot of healthier food available for lunch in Suva, but none tastier.

Best regards, Bill

Thanks to Bill. Of course none of the Lunch in Suva team have actually been there so we can't stand by a word of the above - but who needs verification when you have someone doing your work for you.

Shabu Shabu at MHCC

Shabu Shabu looks a bit lonely in the MHCC food court. A lot of people don't seem to know what to make of it. Even during the busiest lunch rush, there are always empty seats at the counter.

To be fair, the place is a bit confusing: part teppanyaki joint, part sushi roll bar, part Korean food outlet ... and both Korean and Japanese food can be a little daunting for first-timers without a guide.


That said, allow me to point out a few things worth trying.

First up, bibimbap, a selection of vegetables (some pickled, some cooked, some raw), chili paste, and a fried egg on a large bowl of rice.


This Korean dish is usually served with kimchi and some soup (below).

At $8 a serve, this dish performs very well on the price-performance curve ... and how can any self-respecting Fiji resident say no to a dish featuring chili paste? This particular bibimbap is also vegetarian, so it's not going to get you in trouble with PETA.


On the Japanese side of the fence, teriyaki beef (or you can get chicken or tuna ... whatever the edicts of your god permit).



This one gets cooked on the teppan in front of you, and is served with a selection of veges and rice. Not as big, impressive or filling as the bibimbap, but still a good meal. $8.



The rice from Shabu Shabu always seems to be on the cold side ... this is a little puzzling for an Asian restaurant, but doesn't detract too much from the meals.

Everything on the menu seems to come in between $7 and $8, except the ebi prawns.

A variety of sushi and sashimi selections are available, or start with the California rolls if you need a gentle introduction. The Korean version, kimbap, is also on offer.

The Korean soups are also worth a try: the chicken kalguksu is a good starting place. Shabu Shabu actually has a bigger selection of soups than Joji's so play the field a little and find something you like.

We've no idea how long this Korean-owned, would-be-Japanese eatery will survive, so try it while it's still around ... or there's always its parent restaurant in Ra Marama House, but that is a couple of magnitudes up the price scale.

For good value, a large selection of soups, having the balls to install a teppan in a food court, and confusing us all with an eclectic mix of Korean and Japanese, a tentative thumbs-up.

In Summary

Shabu Shabu

MHCC Food Court, Level 2, MH City Centre, sandwiched between Thompson St, Renwick Rd, and Nabukalou Creek.

Opening Hours:

Mon - Sun: 9:00am - 9:00pm

Spend:

$7 - $15 per person

Rating:

Thumbs-up

The Defence Club on Fridays

All the private clubs in Suva have a kitchen, the last remaining holdout was the Defence Club. With the demise of "Khana Kao" that used to be in the basement (selling something called "Indo-fijian cuisine"), the Defence Club has been without food for a couple of years (cheese, tamarind chutney, and breakfast crackers don't count).

Now the club is getting back into the lunch scene with a Friday cafeteria style offering. Usually only one or two options are offered, and the price ranges from $10 to $12. A lady named Joanna is in charge and apparently you can call her for orders as well (call the club at 3305037 and ask for her - Friday only).

The day we investigated the Seafood lunch was on offer and this menu included:

• Dalo
• Fried Fish in Lolo
• Ota
• Baked Kai
• Lumi
• Nama
• Fruits ( watermelon / pineapple)

Overall a stunning success - slightly over our $10 per head policy, but we can justify it by saying that its a Friday only treat. Its a large meal, and when coupled with the $1.60 beers that one will be tempted to wash down the lolo with, your afternoon productivity will be severely impacted. You are probably better off telling the boss that you won't be "out in the field" for the rest of the day.
Make sure you eat your fruits. The fibre will help you shit later, and god knows that you'll be needing to shit after such a serve.

The menu changes every week. Typical offerings include Lovo (pork, chicken, palusami, wacipoki) and Curry (lamb, bhindi, pumpkin, chutney, rice). Ask them to put you on the mailing list and they will tell you whats for lunch via email.

In Summary

Defence Club Friday Lunch

57 Gordon St

Phone: 3305037

Opening Hours:

1200 - 1430 - Friday only

Spend:

$15 per person (assuming two beers)

Rating:

Thumbs-up

Saturday special: Steamed buns from Dorothy's Kitchen

These chinese steamed buns, with a pork or chicken filling, are available at Dorothy's Kitchen only on Saturdays, and usually sold out early in the afternoon.


These are probably the best steamed buns in Suva (comments welcome). I have a distinct preference for the pork ones (pictured above) ... but if pork isn't on your menu, the chicken buns are quite good.

If you've got a hankering for steamed buns during the week, Hot & Spicy Kitchen sells an edible chicken-filled bun.

Joji's Noodle Bar at MHCC

After years of operating quietly from his hole in the wall under the Civic Centre on the Suva foreshore Joji finally decided it was time to expand the empire.

First, there was a tentative foray into new territory during Fiji Showcase. Judging by the lines, the hungry masses approved.

Joji pondered this validation of his culinary authority, and then went to see a man about an empty space in the MHCC food court.

And now Joji's Noodle Bar has a stall at the top of the escalators on the 2nd floor of MHCC. Judging by the lines during lunch hour, the hungry masses still approve.

As the name indicates, this place is all about noodles. Dalo is available with some dishes, but there is no rice available here.

Where there's noodle, there's soup. Combination long and short, Asian beef stew, chicken noodle, fish balls.

This is the combination long and short soup: chicken, beef, fish balls, wantons, your choice of noodles, in an peppery broth. There is no pork in the soup (or on the menu). They've also swapped out the usual Chinese cabbage with lettuce. This doesn't bother me, but Kania Tiko considers it to be an unforgivable deviation from the norm.

Takeaway soups are well packed.

Almost everything on the menu is cooked to order. The staple chow mein and chilli chicken dishes (with noodles of course) are cooked in bulk, but never more than is needed to keep the line moving.

New to the menu is the 'Hot, Sweet and Sour Noodles'. The proprietor describes it as being 'like a noodle salad.'

A brilliant combination of noodles and vegetables with a hot, tangy sauce holding it all together! This dish then evolved a little, and offered a choice of chicken or beef in the dish. It has since been removed from the display menu, but I am assured that they will prepare it on request.

The menu is priced a little higher than the original Joji's. This, in addition to the lack of rice and the introduction of soup, means they're not competing with their original shop. To that end, the MHCC outlet has also dropped the small serve.

Not content with the move to MHCC, they've also opened a bakery in the food court that serves up a variety of cakes, pastries and breads under the banner of Joji's Temptation ... but that is for another review.

For adding soup to the usual Joji's options, and a hot, sweet & sour noodle salad that rises above the usual takeaway offerings, a thumbs-up.

In Summary

Joji's Noodle Bar

MHCC Food Court, Level 2, MH City Centre, sandwiched between Thompson St, Renwick Rd, and Nabukalou Creek.

Opening Hours:

Mon - Sun: 9:00am - 9:00pm

Spend:

$6 - $7 per person

Rating:

Thumbs-up

Jody's @ MHCC

Closed ... as predicted by Kania Tiko. On the bright side, the location is just too good to go to waste ... so there'll eventually be another eatery here for us to scrutinise.

The MHCC complex has added a fast food place on the ground floor (on the Renwick Rd side) which the LiS team is duty bound to find out more about.
The interior looks like a typical fast food chain, obviously they've looked at the Macca's of the world and tried to copy what works. I can say that the ordering process is efficient and well thought out, however one doesn't always understand what the attendant is saying - the dude rattles off the options at a rate of knots in a language believed to be English.
There are a selection of toasted sandwiches, this is the pick of the bunch - egg with Jody's fire sauce (which seems to be some sort of Tamarind and chilli mix), but after eating one can't help but think that one could do a better job at home. Scramble some eggs, toast some bread, put on some tamarind chutney and tabasco, and you have a quick tasty breakfast. Kudos to Jody's for giving me the idea, but it's unlikely I'll be going back there for this one.

This the menu, it has far too many things on it.
This is a chicken burger - the smallest one that they offer as you can see from the $0.50 piece provided for scale. Its also one of the most boring burgers that we've ever eaten, not actually bad, just completely uninteresting.
This is their grilled fish with coleslaw. An utterly revolting meal - nothing short of a vile, disgusting abomination - in fact worth purchasing just to marvel with ones own senses at how bad cooking can get.
This the CSI pizza, and CSI does not refer to the forensic team that should be investigating the crime against food that the Grilled Fish is. CSI apparently means "Community Sourced Ingredients" which in this case are pumpkin, baigan, and tomato. This actually isn't a bad pizza, which is a good thing as their other pizza options are pretty horrible. This is the only thing I ate that I'd actually go back for.

A note about the price - this place is expensive! All the food above cost $28, and the two grown men eating it were not satiated at all and ended up taking the escalator to eat some noodles at Joji's.

I really have no idea what this place is trying to do, maybe it wants to be Indo-Fijian McDonald's, which might be a worthy goal if they could pull off more than one dish. Perhaps if they cut the menu in half and concentrate on a few winners (fried chicken, Indo-Fijian style pizza, funky roti parcels with some sort of original twist) they could make this work.

Judging by the empty tables we don't expect Jody's to be long for this world. It will not be missed.

In Summary

Jody's

Bottom Floor, MHCC, Renwick Rd Side

Opening Hours:

0900 - 2100 - 7 days a week

Spend:

$15 per person

Rating:

Thumbs-down

Hibiscus Festival 2009

The August school break has come upon us again, bringing with it Suva's so-called 'mother of all festivals,' The Hibiscus Festival.


Unlike past years, the weather has been kind (so far) and instead of the usual mud-pool, Albert Park is instead doing a very good impression of a dust bowl. So dry was it, that there was some confusion amongst the Lunch in Suva delegation as to whether we had accidentally arrived at the Sugar Festival by mistake.

Where the weather may have changed, the prevalance of BBQ stalls has not. The vast majority of stalls offer up the same boring combination: a lamb chop, a sausage, a bit of casava, and a bit of shredded vegetable matter all liberally drowned in the cheapest tomato sauce known to the market. Most stalls now offer a chicken option as well.


For most, the only differentiating factor seems to be the club running each stall (for example the QVS stall pictured above). Association patrons, relatives, and obliged people buy from the stall to whom they owe allegiance. All others buy from the stall that seems cleanest, nearest, or most generous.

There are a few highlights: stalls that attempted something different. Enter the first specimen: Tandoori Barbeque


Still a bit of a safe play for unimaginative punters, but giving the rest of the field a much needed kick up the behind, The Taste of Indian Muglai has seen fit to drop a bit of lemon and spice on their lamb and chicken, call it 'tandoori' and they seem to be doing rather well out of it.

Here's a little video of the process. There's no tandoor in sight, but we mustn't allow that to detract from their achievement.

Also worth a try are the Bombay kebabs from Aashnas stall (who also offer the more traditional, non-bbq form of tandoori chicken).


The kebabs are cooked out the front of the stall, on metal rods, charcoal beneath and an unusually hot Suva sun above.


The kebabs are served in a paper cup and are topped with green mango chutney.


Kania Tiko believes these to be both spicey enough and oily enough to merit a pairing with beer.

Doner kebabs have also put in a token appearance.


The wrap was a thick roti. The only sauce available was tomato. The meat was unremarkable. The salad of no consequence. And at $6 a serve, this otherwise welcome deviation from the line of bbq stalls wanders too far off the price/performance curve to be worth your while.


The Bible Society burger stall has become somewhat of a fixture at the festival.


In the past these burgers have been very good. The first year, they seemed serious about passing the taste test: mustard, relish, mayo and good tomato sauce were all part of the burger.


This $4 burger has since fallen on hard times.


A bit of lettuce, a slice of tomato, a few slivers of onion and a Foods Pacific lamb patty do not a good burger make. Reduced to a shadow of it's former self, this may now well be the worst performer on the Hibiscus dining price/performance curve.

And now, a few general comments:

First, this 'flame' falls deep in 'WTF' territory. Lunch in Suva objects to this waste of good cooking gas.


Second, it's a sad day for Fiji when carnival ice-cream cones are more expensive than a McDonald's softserve.


Finally, we leave you with this strange piece of fiction, designed (we presume) to draw the attention of young children to the sweeties.


You can click on the photo to read the large version. The 'dialogue' on the side of the stall is as follows:

Monkey:
Hey Mowgli come into the festive mood and party with me

Mowgli:
Oh! I'd love to party with u
U've got all my favourite candy floss, pop corn, sno cone and oh u also have my favourite Juice

Pooh Bear:
I hope the monkey didnt notice I took his pop corn

Eyore:
Oh i love my sno cone
yummy

Rabbit:
Hey Piglet
Will Eyore exchange his sno cone with my Candy floss

Piglet:
Well I dont know about him but i know i love my tasty Juice

What more could you possibly say about the Hibiscus Festival?

Tiko's Seafood Restaurant & Bar

So there is this guy, maybe his name is Tiko, maybe it isn't, either way no one seems to give a shit. Anyway so he gets hold of a boat somehow and turns into a floating restaurant. He moors it on Stinson Parade across from Sukuna Park, and starts charging the punters of Suva shitloads of money for steak and seafood. A legend of Suva eating ensues, and for the next three decades people with expense accounts and the bakewa that follow them eat well and in a unique setting.

Now this place is way out of the normal budget usually covered here at LiS, but when there are others willing to pay, and a half reasonable camera phone is handy, one is duty bound to bend guidelines and sacrifice one's time and stomach for a higher principle: "Never miss an opportunity to namu wealthier relatives".

So there is a menu on a blackboard, and the only thing in single figures is the soup, but since you're all like me and eating on someone else's dime, I'm sure you don't give a rats.

As a bakewa with some experience in these waters, I recommend the Grilled Nuqa with Miti, but you are pretty safe eating anything you are not allergic to. The main courses are large and come with either mash, dalo, or chips.

If you are boring, or are either physically or mentally under the age of 12, you could always have a serve of Fish and Chips. At $14 and no different to what one gets from Hook and Chook or Joli Fryer, it isn't a stunner on the price performance curve. Again, I know we aren't paying for this meal, but if we are going to namu, lets namu smartly!


If you aren't that hungry, ask for the entrée as a main. Above is the crumbed calamari and the grilled baby octopus, two entrées put together to make a lighter mains.

One should always eat ones greens, even if one is a freeloading bastard. Get thee to the salad bar and load up on rourou, bhindi, pumpkin, ota, baseisei, potatoes, pasta etc., and try the chilli vinaigrette and the thousand island dressing.


Vegetables are good for you. Eat your vegetables. Especially when they are paid for.

You can get steaks too, Surf and Turf and that sort of thing, I have no idea if they are any good, but one can rarely go wrong with steak.

It is not the best place for a one hour lunch break. Your order will probably take more than half an hour to get to you, leaving you about 15 minutes to wolf down your food and get back to work. You will also need the time to entertain your sponsor with your scintillating repartee and incisive wit (which is the least you can do for someone buying you lunch).

In Summary

Tiko's Seafood Restaurant & Bar

The boat moored opposite Sukuna Park, Stinson Pde, Suva

Opening Hours:

Buggered if I know but its open for lunch on the weekdays

Spend:

Shitloads

Rating:

Thumbs-up (if someone else is paying)