Lunch Buffet @ Holiday Inn

Regular readers will know that we at LiS have a policy of not spending more than $10 per meal. This is a policy we waive under two specific circumstances 1) when someone else is paying, and 2) when we feel like it.

This week we found that both of those conditions were fulfilled by a corporate benefactor. With a list price of $36 per head, this was not an opportunity to be passed up. To Vikatoria's at the Holiday Inn we go:

The first thing we did was get stuck into the nigiri, mostly smoked salmon, tuna, and inside out roll. Competently done if not spectacular, but personally I can eat this sort of thing all day and every day.

Every buffet has a salad bar, and this one has all the usual elements. One thing they don't have that they should have is labels for the dressings, for instance I have no idea what that creamy paste on the right is, and that was the case with all of other dressings and vinegarettes offered. I have better things to do at lunch than play dressing lucky dip.

Unfortunately your intrepid reviewer is abstaining from the flesh of mammals and fowl at the moment, so I am unable to say much about these slices of roast pork except to say that they look like sexual napalm for the tastebuds. The main thing to worry about with roast meats is dryness, and this doesn't seem to have that problem at all.

This fish curry was simply rubbish, not at all spicy, dry, and tasteless. We attempted to rescue it by chilli-ing the living fuck out of it, but succeeded only in making it spicy, dry and tasteless. The fish is not fresh either.

Eating your vegetables is a must. These were just a tad overcooked, but I'm glad they've included ota in the steamed vegetables selection.

On the left we have the vegetarian pizza, which is pretty damn good. On the right is the fish pizza which was far too salty. The vegetarian pizza, with its mushrooms, olives, capsicum, cabbage, and excellent base might rival Dorothy's Kitchen as the best pizza the LiS crew has tried yet.

Now I'm sure you can get better cold soba with tempura vegetables at Ginza or Shinjuku station, but I put it to you that you are much less likely to be groped by エロマンガ crazed サラリーマン. Eat your soba at the Holiday Inn and avoid both the expense and the 痴漢.

This kokoda was simply awful. What makes kokoda work is the texture, good kokoda springs back against ones teeth and holds together. Crap kokoda like this one has the texture of cooked fish and offers no resistance to the chewer. I don't think the fish was particularly fresh either.

There are deserts as well. We were too full to sample them but our dining companions partook and we were with our shitty cellphone cameras to capture them. Given that we didn't actually eat any we don't really have much to say much about them.

This is the trifle. I hate trifle.

This is the sponge cake. I hate sponge cake.

There are too many flaws with this buffet to give this a thumbs up, and at $36 per head it is not good value either. On the plus side its a popular place for corporate events and lunches so you have many opportunities to namu ones bosses, suppliers, donors, and business partners.

In Summary

Lunch Buffet @ Holiday Inn

Vikatoria's Restaurant, Holiday Inn, Victoria Pde (http://osm.org/go/vrytAvrvY-)

Opening Hours:

Mon - Friday: 12:00pm - 2:30pm

Spend:

$36 per head

Hot Dog stand outside Ministry of Education

There has been a hot dog stand outside the Ministry of Education on the corner of Gorrie St and Thurston St for most of the past decade. While it is always good to see enterprising young men try and make their way in the world, the LiS crew will only ever judge you on the quality and cost effectiveness of your food, and never on the purity of your heart and honest intentions.
These guys have one item on the menu, at a single price ($4), and that item is the Hot Dog. In years past they used to have a burger which was tasty enough but seemed to give everyone acid reflux, and it is no longer on the menu.
The above is a hot dog, a sausage in a bun with sauce and mustard, with grated cheese. Not the sort of thing one has to study Julia Child to learn how to do. If they have relish you can get relish but they don't seem to have it that often.

There really isn't much to say about it - its a damn hot dog. It is what it is. If I had season tickets at Yankee Stadium I would have the requisite cultural software installed to determine where in the grand spectrum of hot dog quality this sits. Unfortunately I have neither tickets nor the inclination (nor for that matter the stomach lining) to become a hot dog connoisseur.

I am however fully qualified to comment on this meals place in the price performance curve. At $4 this is simply not a good deal. Scrounge around in your coin jar for $1.50 more and you can get a substantial feed at a place like the Handicraft centre. Most people with Pacific Island appetites will need two hot dogs to make a decent lunch - well for the $8 that will cost you can get yourself a bi bim bap at Shabu Shabu, an option that is both healthier, heftier, and tastier.

In Summary

Hot Dog Stand

Outside the Ministry Education, Corner of Gorrie St and Thurston St (http://osm.org/go/vrytA9Pi@-)

Opening Hours:

Mon - Friday: 12:00pm - 2:30pm

Spend:

$4 per hot dog

Rating:

Thumbs-down

And now for some user generated content - Fr in Nasese

Posting this drivel month in month out gets to be a drag. We have to go from filthy greasy spoon to disgusting dive, spending our own money and risking our own stomach linings. So its a relief when someone writes in and gives us content, as our friend Bill did last week. To whit:

If you haven't been to Fr (don't understand the stupid name) in the old "Point After" building down from Suva Grammar on Queen Elizabeth Drive, you're missing out. I don't know why that man (the owner of the former Cakodrove) has the magic recipe for fish & chips, but he does. I recommend the cod ($10), although they might recommend something else when you visit. Apparently they opened a couple weeks ago. I just hope they can overcome the curse on that building and build a good business. Don't think I could handle the emotional hit of having them close again. There's a lot of healthier food available for lunch in Suva, but none tastier.

Best regards, Bill

Thanks to Bill. Of course none of the Lunch in Suva team have actually been there so we can't stand by a word of the above - but who needs verification when you have someone doing your work for you.